Often we hear people saying, ‘ I did not have a choice’, regarding some choices made in their life without realizing that there was also a choice to choose ‘nothing’ when they were conflicted with choices or did not have a choice of their liking. Well, whatever choice we choose or don’t choose, those are still choices and we choose them for the ‘reasons’ that we believe are ‘right’ or it is the universally accepted right or simply because, it is what we think we want.
Now, in the case of choices made based on reasons, are the choices we choose made for the ‘right’ reasons? And if we believe we make choices for the right reasons, what exactly is then the ‘right’ reason? How do we call a reason the right one or what makes a reason ‘right’?
Think of any choice taken in life which you believed was the right one. Usually, these ‘rights’ are decided against the universally, societal or personally benchmarked rights and reasons. Now, for whatever reasons you made the choice, was it what you had really wanted and/or were you really happy with that choice? I am not talking about the cons of the choice you made and whether you were happy with it or not, since each choice has its own pros and cons and these we accept as we go ahead with the choice. This is about the choice itself that you made. When you decided to go ahead with that choice, where you really happy and content with it and, more importantly, was that what you had really wanted or, more specifically, needed?
Now what exactly is it that ‘feels happy’ or ‘makes one happy’? Do some of the choices you made that you thought would make you happy in the end, in fact really do so? If they don’t, then such choices were made based on the belief of false understanding of happiness. Like the happiness in the false belief of power, or superiority in the feeling that you are now better off than others, or when insecurities and emptiness are covered by relationships or material possessions. Or worse, for someone else’s happiness. Or else, why do you still feel a void inside, even though you are sure you made the ‘right choice’ and why do you still ask yourself, ‘why am I not happy?’
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| 'Freedom of Choice' by ©© Flickr/Geeta Nambiar |
Now, in the case of choices made based on reasons, are the choices we choose made for the ‘right’ reasons? And if we believe we make choices for the right reasons, what exactly is then the ‘right’ reason? How do we call a reason the right one or what makes a reason ‘right’?
Think of any choice taken in life which you believed was the right one. Usually, these ‘rights’ are decided against the universally, societal or personally benchmarked rights and reasons. Now, for whatever reasons you made the choice, was it what you had really wanted and/or were you really happy with that choice? I am not talking about the cons of the choice you made and whether you were happy with it or not, since each choice has its own pros and cons and these we accept as we go ahead with the choice. This is about the choice itself that you made. When you decided to go ahead with that choice, where you really happy and content with it and, more importantly, was that what you had really wanted or, more specifically, needed?
Shouldn't the reasons for making a choice be for, what one truly wants and that which gives real happiness?Of course, if you don’t know what you really want, then making any choice just based on the outcome doesn’t carry much weight; but what counts is that you are ‘really’ happy in the ‘real sense’ by that choice. Not for someone else’s happiness or because you think that this might make you happy.
Now what exactly is it that ‘feels happy’ or ‘makes one happy’? Do some of the choices you made that you thought would make you happy in the end, in fact really do so? If they don’t, then such choices were made based on the belief of false understanding of happiness. Like the happiness in the false belief of power, or superiority in the feeling that you are now better off than others, or when insecurities and emptiness are covered by relationships or material possessions. Or worse, for someone else’s happiness. Or else, why do you still feel a void inside, even though you are sure you made the ‘right choice’ and why do you still ask yourself, ‘why am I not happy?’
Make sure that you are the one, making your choices.Choices have to be made for the right reasons and right reasons must be chosen for good choices. And make sure that you are the one making your choices and most importantly, be responsible for them, to be really happy and have no regrets. Only then can one make confident choices or the necessary changes to correct them.
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