To happiness, joy and a great spectacle of a lifetime

Light up

Stumbling through leaves
and stepping on stones
along a deep dark forest trail
hunched trees peer down
cupped branches entrap darkness.
Along the most unlikely forest bend
glinted a few tiny sparkling hints.
Gathering pace I gaze and squint
at a galaxy of stars
propped up on bushes near and far.

Hedged within reality
on the horizon of fantasy
is a forest of stars.
Afraid to appear
yet here they are.
It's no lie
the foreplay of fireflies
They come alive and begin to play
hide and seek, slowly they stray.
Eavesdropping on the sweet talk
I took a walk
with my thoughts
fleeting wings and pulsing joy.

I hook my palm and stole a star.
Then I had to let it go
The only way to enjoy the glow.
I thought of a jar
full of stars.
But captured and jarred
they would burn and char.
Fireflies and joy are meant to fly
though they may seem fleetingly shy
yet lasting in the minds eye.

I seek not what I find
I bind not what's meant to fly
Memories of joy will always light up.
Now I step back and watch the show
as the rhythm peaks and flashes flow
A forest fire in cold glow

April 2015
Sakaleshpur

Defining onesself - Finding the Purpose in Life

During social gatherings, when the people I meet introduce themselves, most of them define themselves by their fancy job title, regardless of the fact whether they are truly passionate about their job or believe in it or not. Often, it has left me wondering who that person actually is. And I quickly get bored with them and  simply move on to the next. It is true that social community sites like Linkedin, Facebook, dating/matrimonial sites have made us define our profiles in the typical job, career, school, 'likes'- model, creating in us the belief that we are what our job is or the money we make, or what our relationship status is, or the community that we belong to.  And those who think they are that, they obviously will have nothing else going on in their life and believe that they are nothing more than that. No wonder they lose their sense of identity once they lose the very thing that 'defined' them.

'Just Red' by ©© Flickr/Nam Nguyen

Once I asked a few friends to find out and tell me what defines them, and what they stand for. Even after a month, none of them could come up with any answers! This is where profile filling columns of 'Couchsurfing', stand apart. It mostly focuses on what sets one apart and makes them unique, and a self-introspection on one's life. (At the least, their earlier version of the questionnaire was much more introspective, which I liked better, though complicated) To be honest, it took me 2 whole weeks to figure out the answers to all those questions!!

I believe that one must define oneself by what they believe in and what they do for realizing that. It means following your heart and being in sync with who you are; and aligning your life with it.

Although rare, I am sometimes asked by some curious minds - what is the purpose of my life, and why I do what I do. I believe that one must define oneself by what they believe in and what they do for realizing that. It means following your heart and being in sync with who you are; and aligning your life with it, whatever your job may be. If you can create a career out of it, well then that is totally great. It's just that it shouldn't be your job (unless that's what you believe in or is passionate about) or paycheck or social status, where or whom you belong with, be the one defining you. That's why they say that you must be passionate about something, and passionate enough to follow it. And that is where one finds meaning in themselves, and in their life and purpose. Let it be any activity or a cause you care for; just stand for it and do something about it. Let that be your definition; because that's where true happiness lies.

10 Habits of Highly Confident Women

Confidence is the belief in oneself and one's abilities and power. Confident people exude a sense of charisma, optimism and composure. They attract positivity and optimistic people into their life.  If you notice, people with high confidence levels show certain distinctive characteristics in their personality when compared to others. And if it is a woman, people note them with raised heads. Here are some behavioural traits of highly confident women.

1. She stands for herself.

'Soar free and high'  by © Muthukumar Balachandran

She never lets anyone take her for granted or disrespect her. She never allows anyone- be it family, friend or colleague -walk all over her, let whatever may happen; if someone acts so, she either walks out of it or make them behave.  She considers herself with high regard and hence never let anyone take her - her time, energy, body, talents, dreams- for granted.  She plants her feet firmly to the ground and never tolerate disrespect to her in any regard. She knows to leave when situations do not work out for her, and move on without any unnecessary guilt.

2. She does, because she wants to.

And doesn't, because she just doesn't want to. She doesn't do things because it is expected of her, or others want her to be or do so. She knows what she wants. She does what needs to be done. She doesn't care whether the sun revolves around her or she revolves around the sun.  And she simply ignores the rest.

3. She maintains her independence.

She has dignity and honour.  She believes in standing on her own feet rather than depending on others to take care of her needs. She asserts her independence in every aspect of her life. Independence doesn't mean she keeps herself detached from people due to pride or vanity. It means, she prefers to keep her integrity intact rather than depend on others, and knows clearly, when to ask for help or be interdependent.

"What's dead must stay dead" - On Digging up the Past

Known for its quirkier and funnier scripts, this is one of the frequent quotes of the leading protagonist of the TV series - Supernatural. The fans of Supernatural know what it means – You don’t go digging up the dead; if you do so, do it at your own risk; because it’s going to backfire for sure – and the ‘Hardy Boys’ will raise a hell…!

'Mr.R.Graves, Syracuse' by ©© Flickr/Jake Shivery

Lifetimes are made of glorious, exciting, adventurous and happier moments, along with heart-breaking, dreadful, depressed and boring ones, with its share of the pie. Often during these dragging moments, especially the dull ones, people think of the ‘good ol’ days’ and the excitement and happiness of those times. And often, many, instead of cherishing those golden happier memories, try recreating it, to bring back the missing excitement. They dig up the dead experiences and memories to relive them, only to find that it was not as exciting as they thought it would be.

Moments last only for the moment and once dead can never come back.

Some, dig up moments and experiences of their younger days – the exciting adrenaline filled days of youth, especially when their life clock strikes middle age – and try to relive those once exciting and happier but now dead moments. Some, like the married, missing the excitement and freedom of their old bachelorhood days, go for, outside marriage affairs and relationships with younger women or men, hoping to rekindle the passion and excitement as in their first love. Some, being burdened by guilt, insecurity or regret, dig up past incidents or relationships, hoping to make it right the second time. However, sooner or later, many realize that the fun and excitement that they thought can be rekindled by reliving the past does not exist anymore, and one will never be able to enjoy any golden moments in any other time frame or circumstance other than when it was meant to be experienced. Some, who still do not realize or accept it even when the facts are so evident in front of them, end up messing their present, even much better, lives.

Are choices made for the right reasons?

Often we hear people saying, ‘ I did not have a choice’, regarding some choices made in their life without realizing that there was also a choice to choose ‘nothing’ when they were conflicted with choices or did not have a choice of their liking. Well, whatever choice we choose or don’t choose, those are still choices and we choose them for the ‘reasons’ that we believe are ‘right’ or it is the universally accepted right or simply because, it is what we think we want.

'Freedom of Choice' by ©© Flickr/Geeta Nambiar 

Now, in the case of choices made based on reasons, are the choices we choose made for the ‘right’ reasons? And if we believe we make choices for the right reasons, what exactly is then the ‘right’ reason? How do we call a reason the right one or what makes a reason ‘right’?

Think of any choice taken in life which you believed was the right one. Usually, these ‘rights’ are decided against the universally, societal or personally benchmarked rights and reasons. Now, for whatever reasons you made the choice, was it what you had really wanted and/or were you really happy with that choice? I am not talking about the cons of the choice you made and whether you were happy with it or not, since each choice has its own pros and cons and these we accept as we go ahead with the choice. This is about the choice itself that you made. When you decided to go ahead with that choice, where you really happy and content with it and, more importantly, was that what you had really wanted or, more specifically, needed?

Creating a Perfect Art - From Imperfection

During my stay in Taiwan a few years back, I happened to visit the National Palace Museum of the country in Taipei. The Museum is one of the largest in the world, with over 65,000 ancient Chinese artifacts and, this is in fact, is the national museum of the Republic of China. Floors and floors of artifacts and relics, stand as a proof to that!

'Jadeite Cabbage' by ©© WikiCommons/Peellden
Derivative ©© Flickr/Seena Joy

Once while in the art gallery, I noticed a large crowd in front of something. I found a glass case that was the center of attraction and lots of 'ooh's and 'wow's. There it was a beautiful cabbage carved in green jade - a marvelous piece of art that captures anyone's eye.  And more than the art itself, I was mesmerized by the reading of it, on a nearby pamphlet.

Here it goes. “This jadeite, part green and part white, which is now a wonderful Chinese cabbage, would be considered mere second-rate material full of impurities if it was to be made into usual vases, jars, or ornaments, because of the cracks and blemishes that came with it. However, the artisan ingeniously transformed the rock into a lifelike vegetable of leafy green and white stems, with all unappealing rifts now hidden invisible amid the veins. And the discoloured spots take on the marks of snow and frost. So with a stroke of genius, defects turn perfect. Beauty is in the detail and creativity works wonder.” That is, by the magic wand of creativity, the clever craftsman turned the cracks and discoloured blotches to create a beautiful art. Anything can be made perfect by creativity, if one have it or utilize it.